Anyone who reads my site for long enough knows I’m a big proponent of the cold approach.Learning how to approach women, strike up a conversation and charming them into being interested in going on a date with you is a difficult – but important – skill to master.But just as important as it is to be willing to approach women you don’t know, it’s important to know when you approached.
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Who goes from being a stranger to a full-blown creeper in the span of a couple sentences because they won’t take a hint. They will complain that it’s unfair to miss out on missing someone awesome just because some creeper somewhere might have weirded a woman out.
This is one of the reasons why social calibration is one of the most important parts of getting better at dating; recognizing the times when it is and appropriate to approach women is vital – not just to your dating success but to avoiding being creepy by accident.
One of the keys to social calibration is understanding the cues and context that tell you when a woman is open to being approached and when she isn’t.
Now an obvious caveat: people are people and everyone sets their boundaries where they see fit.
There will always be exceptions to every rule and people who may be receptive to being approached under these circumstances.
Many people – myself included – have experiences where they have successfully gotten a number or a date or what-have-you from a bartender, a waitress, someone they met on the bus or the train. You can’t bank on people explicit indications that she’s interested in talking to you… It’s better to “miss out” on an opportunity than to end up being yet another warm body in the asshole conga-line of her day.One of the keys to getting better at interacting with women is to understand the differences in how men and women are taught to communicate.Women are taught to be indirect when communicating their desires and interests – especially when it comes to interacting with men – and are more likely to rely on non-verbal communication.A woman who’s interested in being approached, for example, might signal the guy she’s attracted to with the classic “lock eyes, look away, look back” move.But just as women tend to signal their interest with what’re known as “approach invitations”, they’ll also signal that they the same way.For example: one of the most obvious non-verbal signs that a woman wants to be left alone is that she’ll refuse to make eye-contact.