A popular question we get for our famous ‘Ask a Guy’ section is: “Why won’t he call me his girlfriend?
” I am not surprised at all, this situation is the worst!
I’ve been there, my friends have been there, and it’s so frustrating and makes zero sense.
Eric does a great job explaining what might be going on in your guy’s mind but I have some insights that, although from a female perspective, will be of great value as well. The experience caused me to completely shut down emotionally.
I was aloof, I was hard to read, I didn’t get too close, I was present but never available, essentially, I was a guy (in the psychological sense anyway! My ‘guy’ behavior caused the actual guys was seeing to take on the ‘girl role’ and they were always way more into it than I was (this was also due to my aforementioned heartbreak which rendered me numb).
My relationships at that point would go something like this: we would meet, there would be a spark, we’d hang out a few times, after a few weeks I would freak out and feel trapped and suffocated, I would then lose all interest in the relationship and would do whatever I could to sabotage it.
I felt guilty but also kind of alarmed at my inability to feel anything.
Eventually, I softened and started to warm up to the possibility of being in a relationship. He was really cute, really sweet, had a good job, and seemed pretty much perfect for me.
I liked him a lot at first, well a lot in relation to how much I was capable of liking anyone at that point which wasn’t really that much.
I knew he liked me a whole lot more than I liked him, but feeling terrified by the possibility that my heart had turned to stone and that I may never be able to love again, I stayed with it, hoping that the deep feelings he felt for me would eventually be reciprocated on my end.
We had been seeing each other for a little over a month when I sensed that my grace period was over.
It was time to have ‘the talk.’ He brought up the subject casually at first, wondering if he could start introducing me as his girlfriend.