It'll be something to bear in mind if creating your own. I've never seen a more obvious "library picture from Google" in my life. Put no photo if you want (although I think it would severely limit the number of women who'd contact you), but a fake one of a model? But he chooses not to write a proper self-description at the top, saying only, "Ask me more if you want to know! Michael, 39, Dartford Michael's opening words are: "I'm a Libra." I move on. What he actually says is: "I like getting lost in old cities, climbing to the top of the highest tower to get the best view."Suddenly I'm imagining me and Ted exhausted and covered in sweat - and not in a good way.I've invented names for them - seemed a bit cruel to use their real online handles - and detailed what was attractive and what wasn't. Don't ask, don't get."Bad decision, Philip. There are millions of available men on the internet, glistening out there like delicious bunches of ripe fruit. I might as well move on to someone who's at least left theirs ajar. But he has to find out for himself.)Toby says, "I wish I had a bit more money so I could treat women to five-star dinners and trips to Venice, but for now it might be a round of drinks and a Nando's" - which is charming and likeable. Jonny, 30, London In his photograph, Jonny is wearing an outfit that includes cowboy boots and a headscarf. Ted, 42, Liverpool Ted says, "I like getting lost in old cities." This is a fabulous opener. What's with the schlepping up a million crumbling old stairs?Daniel, 28, The Midlands Daniel has a great profile photo. Skipping past the bathroom routine, I go downstairs for a healthy breakfast."I think he probably means that he'll skip a description of his bathroom routine. Toby, 24, Peterborough Toby is not the best-looking guy on the internet, but I don't mind a receding hairline in a 24-year-old and I love a man in glasses. But Toby then tells us he's looking for a woman who "enjoys sarcastic humour and doesn't take offence". If your sense of humour is so sarcastic and offensive that you have to ... It's like something a clever psychic would say: sounds specific, but actually applies to everybody in the world. He should have gone with "drinking cappuccino in a medieval piazza". Also, in an early dating scenario, they do not want any activities that leave them out of breath, with make-up running down their face. Gerry, 29, Glasgow Gerry begins: "Apparently, 58 per cent of people don't tell the truth when online dating - but, speaking as an astronaut and part-time ice-cream taster, I find this difficult to believe."I love this opening gambit.
This makes me think it's the only one he happened to have on his laptop. No man should be in possession of 30 professional photographs of himself looking fabulous. For his self-description at the top, Daniel outlines a normal day in his life. I can now only imagine Daniel as a man who never brushes his teeth. Arthur, 31, Devon Arthur is 31 but says he is looking for a woman "aged between 21 and 30". At least have the decency to you'd consider some old crone of 33, Arthur; you can always delete her emails. Fair enough - some people get unlucky early - but it's suspicious in a man who wants to date a woman ten years younger than he is and wouldn't look at one who's a fortnight older. Peter, 37, Leicester Peter's physical self-description sounds great ("6 foot, black, athletic and toned") and the attached photo bears it out - though he's sitting down, so I can't swear to his height. I also like the way he puts the concept of online dating right on the table; no hiding. He lists "cooking and baking" as his hobbies and adds: "I've only just started baking so might not have the hang of it yet." Many men might avoid putting cake-making down as a hobby for fear that it's not very macho. In a woman, says Gerry, "I look for a sense of humour, intelligence and being able to consume a lot of pizza." What a great line!
Also, under "dislikes", he puts as his favourite tv show, but to particularly say that he hates it? His introduction sounds tender and honest: "I'm a good person, I treat men and women both well, whether friends or lovers, and I would never hurt anyone. No need to mention good looks; he'll have photos to choose from anyway. This is the man I would contact, if I were single and looking for a date.
I'm looking for a kind and trustworthy person who does not keep secrets."Unfortunately, the alarm bells are ringing so loudly that I may have tinnitus for a week. Every woman wants to think of herself as funny and clever, and I've never met one who doesn't like the idea of eating pizza, so it's a flawless summary. Later down the page, lightly, in passing (not how someone would say this if they were making it up), Gerry tells us that he's an NHS doctor.
So, you've signed up to a singles site, but how do you know your profile will entice enough like-minded ladies - and not turn off potential partners?
You need a woman's perspective: allow GQ's arbiter of dating etiquette to oblige.
(Note from Victoria: This will only be useful if you're hoping to attract a 40-year-old married woman. I've barely met a single man in five years who hasn't. Show the readers what Well, I didn't need to be asked twice.
If I'm not your dream date, you'll have to ask someone else...). I'm rather wistful that cyber-courting didn't jump the shark into "normal" until after I'd met my husband, so I never got the chance to try it. I like the way it has transformed Britain into a dating culture, like America, where girls can go out with dozens of guys just for the fun of it - no expectations, no promises, just getting to know new people and seeing what happens. Within minutes, I was setting myself up with a profile on a range of dating sites; you need a profile to be allowed in to look at the men. The website doesn't ask for all my personal information before I'm allowed to drool over pictures of minidresses.)I chose a random photo of a girl from the internet and started ticking the description boxes offered by the site.
suggested that I have a look at some of the men available online, I was quite offended. "It's a bit late to keep my options open now." "No, no," crooned my well-dressed overlord. This was very exciting: my one chance to become a "tall", "athletic" "brunette".
"You've described your hair as short," said my husband over my shoulder.