Now in this modern world we are bombarded with so much information on lives, cultures... Maybe it's those things that I miss the most and am seeking out. Everyone thinks hes this great guy and lately he will do anything to prove that. I hate answering by saying "I'm fine" when really I'm not! Things have moved on and I feel like posting again. When I last posted I mentioned how my wife had gone from no sex, to no kissing and really no...
Yesterday a female attractive bartender that works at a bar by our house that we go to. This morning as I was drinking my coffee in the kitchen my husband walks by and he asks me where I'd put the suitcase. honest with myself and allow you to blame me for the failure of our marriage.... know my husband and I are like strangers in our home.
Due to her anxiety or whatever it is - she gets distracted and does not take care of things. If you don't have that special thing from day one chances are you get older and realize what that empty spot really is. and playful and I still look at her breasts and *** when she's near me.
Things could be as simple as keeping her own nails clean or keeping the house clean. Just when you get to that stage in you life when you can take a breath, you realize you feel empty. She is very caring and friendly with everyone and tends to thier needs.
Everyone loves her and she truly is a great person and a terrific mother.
Here I am lying in bed writing this and another night by myself. He's asleep in a single bed with our 9 year old daughter. for more, as this life I've become entrapped in feels cold and desolate, so very lonely to me. I admit it was me that chose to marry eventhough my family warned me about her yet I insisted. Then I wonder why I constantly crave communication from someone else. Last weekend I cooked a special dinner...candles...trying to rekindle what we once had. I told him I had prepared a special dinner for him. Impossible so *any* opportunity the presents itself is jumped on (pun intended). and im only doing this cuz no one really knows who i am.
It started a few months ago and our daughter asked my husband (h) and her father to sleep in her bed with her. but she seems to prefer spending time with it than me. We have grown into very different people in our life together, and so far apart. Someone who is 1,000 miles away but always makes me feel special. I was an insecure, scared child at the time, and all I knew was that I loved this fun-loving guy and I was comfortable and safe with him. This morning I made two attempts at a quickie while the kids were adequately occupied. i am 5 1/2 months pregnant but i dont want this baby. i wanted a family and still do but this is very bad timing for a baby... Another day of emotions buried..feelings left in said and the frustration of uncertainty.
Oh sure we talk and take care of kids etc but you can't have any deep meaningful conversation when someone's attention is divided if not elsewhere. My mind and ego tell me to work it out, it's what I'm supposed to do, it's the sensible thing to do. that something wasn't quite right, your intuition tingling, trying to tell you something that you couldn't quite hear. So when he proposed, I said yes, even though I knew I wasn't ready. U are so self centred u can't see 2 feet ahead of u. OH was asleep at the time, so I tried waking him up with kisses down his back. During this time, I totally devoted my life to being a loyal wife and a good mother. ugh know nothing about....u are asleep and I have a battle zone going on within my heart. I've had that feeling many times but foolishly chose to ignore it, looking back I can see the times where I failed to trust my own judgement, those where I... Someday ur gonna miss all the times I asked for a kiss and u didn't give me one Someday ur gonna miss me asking for a foot massage after a 12 hour set up day and u didn't bother with me Someday ur gonna miss having me... I didn't want my son to grow up without me in his life. Now that my baby is 17, we finally have time for us. It's been 19 years, but it's been bad for so long, I don't even know what a healthy relationship is anymore. my father had a very hard marriage to my mother as well. ....we dont know something, isnt it better so we crave it less. I hate not having someone to sit up with, chat to, laugh with & be intimate with. when we met the chase his perspective on life dreams ambition morals where everything I ever wanted in life ," he is still my dream guy " with no buts , just desire I desire the free man I met I desire the chase I desire... I've got such a horrible selfish wife you wouldn't believe she has turned every second of my life into a bitter experience and nobody is to blame but myself. It's like my life is a book whose secret no one knows and I am sailing on an unknown meaningless journey.. As I sit here having a one sided conversation with my husband, I'm getting very little response in return. my husband has never been my friend or have ever tried.. without even realizing it, I went down the same path as my father. In olden times, people's satisfaction levels were easier met and they lived a hard life, with little or no certainty. We have fallen into a rut and the excitement of the early days have faded and the connection we shared seems to have disappeared. And she's gonna treat him like **** because he's gonna kiss her *** for giving him what he's built-up in his mind as the end-all, be-all of human existance. Someone who knows when I need some attention, when I need to offload & talk about my day. than 2 months since I posted my first story...thanks to the people who responded.