You see it everywhere — article after article telling strong, successful women they need to be more feminine if they ever hope to find love.
It reminds me of the old school days when a girl didn’t really know how to act around a boy and someone said “just be feminine,” to which we all responded with OK, but no one really knew what that meant.
I mean, this advice kind of feels like the way a woman was told to behave in the 50s. So let’s tear this sage advise apart a bit, shall we? A quality of being feminine is 'receiving' and in communication, that means the art of listening well. Fine details are not required, just share the big picture now, details he's worthy of hearing at this point. You don't have to be a delicate daisy 24/7, but being hardcore 24/7 is just as extreme.
Let's drop the vagueness and the 1950s implications and redefine it for ourselves. From this point forward 'being a feminine woman' means ... So do that, ask questions and wait for the answers, don't interrupt because that can get really annoying and gives the message that you don’t really care. Hint: if he does not listen in return, you may observe that as a red flag – trust yourself here. Remember, we're talking about long-term relationships, there is no need to tell your potential other all about your most intimate and "out there" sexual experiences on the first date, let him learn about that when he deserves to know the real you, otherwise, again, you run the risk of becoming the one nighter.
So to sum up, don't let all of that "just be feminine" advice out there throw you. All sides of yourself, the strong woman and the sweet woman.
Leanne Barnes was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2014 aged just 23.
She is pictured wearing a wig enjoying afternoon tea at the Ritz, London, with her family as a treat after finishing her chemotherapy and radiotherapy Leanne doing charity work as a 'Boobette' for Coppa Feel, left, and after taking her wig off, right.
She said that losing her hair was one of the hardest parts of her ordeal, but when she wore her wig 'I felt like me again' 'I don't think my confidence will ever be as it was before cancer': Leanne pictured before her breast cancer diagnosis in 2014.The Marks & Spencer sales assistant said that she used to be a 'fun-loving party girl' Leanne pictured with Tom on her first night out since taking her wig off.He stuck by her throughout her ordeal, despite them only having been on one date when she was diagnosed, and they recently moved in together'I kept telling myself it was just six months of my life, then it would all be over,' she said.At first she wore a cold cap to protect her hair from falling out, but it didn't work and she soon lost her hair.'I'm on Herceptin until April 2016 and hormone therapy (zoladex and tamoxifen) until 2020.While I am on hormone treatment, I am infertile, although Tom and I would not consider having children in the next five years, this is still another hurdle to get through.Who gets to decide what being 'feminine' means?