My point in all of this is that if you withdraw, you will most likely get him to put in more effort, but that will only take you so far.Ultimately, if you want a relationship to be as you want it to be, you need to be true to what you really want.
How long are you willing to wait before you cut bait and move on?
Several times I’ve been asked if a girl should email first in online dating.
First things first: yes, it’s absolutely fine for a woman start the email conversations in online dating.
First, you might like this article: The issues here are space and validation.
I’ve had relationships that I have tried hard to keep in “stasis”.
What I mean is that I like them right where they are…I know she’s not interested in hooking up with other guys, we see each other regularly enough (one a week or so) and when we’re together it’s nice, but there’s no feeling of exclusivity or dependency. The girl starts becoming attached to me, missing me and wanting to become more “official”.I’m not looking for that and when that starts coming up, I scale my presence in her life back considerably – I don’t want things to turn into a relationship and therefore I withdraw. I’ve pushed her away and now I’m going to lose her. my goal being that I’d like to return to “stasis” – that perfect sweet spot of comfortable company and sexual satisfaction without having to tie myself down to any relationship.Then, inevitably, the girl starts to get upset, frustrated, confused, etc. My point here: My goal is to maintain the stage before exclusivity and relationship happens. I’m clear on this and it’s practical for where I am in my life right now.While a girl could get me to put in more effort by withdrawing a bit, I am ultimately not looking for a relationship and my effort is only going to go so far. I’ve been successfully manipulated into relationships too.In the end, they’ve failed because I knew in my mind, heart and gut that it wasn’t what I wanted and as much as I tried to numb myself into wanting the relationship, I couldn’t kid myself.