Just for the record, I don’t know if I’ve ever been completely taught what the “bases” are, but let’s give it a shot. So you know how in baseball, before you steal a base, you take a good solid lead-off?
Figure if anything, we can sort it out together as we move along. Now depending on how far into this we get, I think this is like kissing. Not that I’m saying you’re going to rape the girl at 3rd base, but, this is just more like an intermediary bridge between second and third.
I haven’t actually plotted out where we’re going with this yet, so I don’t know what would fall into each category. We’re talking some full out groping, maybe a little body kissing, maybe one of those sensual massages you’re really good at. Now, for the second base lead-off, I’m throwing this out there…handjobs, and/or the female equivalent.
Essentially, between second and third…we’ve reached the genitals. Actually, shit, amendment to First Base as well…look for cold sores. So, before you go doing, whatever it is you think you’re going to do down there…have a look around.
Just like you did when you were a little kid, and you’d bust out a flashlight under the covers and open a book.
Only now, instead of looking for Waldo, you’re looking for herpes.
And he’s a much bigger national threat than Waldo ever was.
And just in case you don’t have one, here, here’s a link to a free flashlight app for your i Phone. Now, I know you’re asking, “Jo E, if a home run is sex, is there no such thing as a grand slam in Denny’s AND in baseball? I’m uhh…I’m not really sure how this one measures up or fits into everything. If a home run is you scoring, and a grand slam is other people scoring…hmmm. In today’s society, thanks to things like Viagra, there really is no “end of the game” anymore.
Get that, and just bust it out before you do anything and have a look. Even dudes who go against Darwinism are being allowed to still run the bases.If they ask what you’re doing, in your best prospector voice just reply with, “I be lookin’ for gold in deez der hills.” (Note: that is not going to help the situation…only worsen it.) This is where some people’s base running analogies change it up. Playing “Just the Tip”….ehh, that’s like a 3rd base lead-off. I should write for like a men’s health magazine or some shit. Sure it raises the blood pressure, and probably brings them on the verge of keeling over mid coitus, but that’s all part of the thrill!A home run is full on penetration…well, then followed by repetitive motions perhaps at multiple angles to achieve differing sensations…WHICH, lead to the body reaching a climactic point. All in all, that’s my understanding of base running and a sexual relationship. In one Seinfeld episode, Elaine puns on the expression by telling baseball legend Keith Hernandez that he may be a great baseball player, but he'll never get to 3rd base with her. The idiomatic expressions are based on the great national pastime of Americans, baseball. In one Seinfeld episode, Elaine puns on the expression by telling baseball legend Keith Hernandez that he may be a great baseball player, but he'll never get to 3rd base with her. The idiomatic expressions are based on the great national pastime of Americans, baseball.